snarke (snarke) wrote,
snarke
snarke

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Yes, but what can you do?

Money being a bit tight, we've decided that it's time that I consider some kind of actual work. The kind that pays and stuff. Honestly, the idea fills me with a deep discomfort. There are so many ways that I could not fit into a standard corporate environment. I went to chat with Stephanie at S&T Onsite, as introduced via scarlettina. One the one hand, my list of skills is, well, improbable. On the other, my list of places I've actually worked is implausible.

For example, I'm dropping catalogs and books I've typeset on her desk. Huge tomes typset at freakish speeds, with database-driven content. But under "Software," you will find no mention of InDesign. No Quark. No Framemaker. No PageMaker. That's because I use TeX. TeX? Er, yea.

You won't even find Word. Oh, my, did that get me eyebrows. I hate Word. Word is a piece of crap. And it will always always always be crap because the very marked text paradigm on which it's based is inappropriate and ineffective. However, as is clearly going to be driven into my hide with a staple gun, the Powers That Be have so stifled competence, creativity, and quality that it is simply impossible to work with words, in an office, and not use Word. Yes, yes, I knew this, but now I'm going to be marinated in it.

[At home, I've stuck with the fast, clean, efficient WordPerfect 3.5e for Macintosh (hey! that's me on that page!), even though Corel quit developing for it in 1997, gave it away free to any and all Macintosh users in 2000 or so, and quietly vanished it off the face of the Earth in 2001. The entire WP folder is 22 meg, and the app is 3. But being that old, it's non-Carbonized (don't ask. Either you already know, or you don't want to) which means it can't use OSX fonts or the OSX printing system. I've just been waiting for something adequate with which to replace it. I think Pages is going to get the position. Yes yes, I know Pages can't index or cross-reference or mailmerge or a few other fancy tricks that WordPerfect (and Word) can do. If I need to get fancy, I'll launch TeX.

[Really, that's so very typical of me. My preferred modes of tranportation would include some beautiful old antique 1957 Packard (WordPerfect), a brand-new cutting-edge but not totally practical hybrid (Pages), or my own personal customized Orion spaceship (TeX/LaTeX).

[And for the record, I actually own two 1957 Packard Clippers. But no Orion. Yet. ] ] ]

However, upon reflection, I realized that a program that I would list under "barely acquainted with" is what most people mean when they claim "knows well." I can open, close, print, italicize, bold, change margins, and make new pages in Word. It just makes my teeth itch to have to do so.

Clearly I'm in for extended bouts of itchy teeth.

On the up side, Stephanie wants to know what I can do. All of it. The whole list. Which, based on some of the skills that some of the positions were seeking, does actually need to include acting, public speaking, music composition, calligraphy, game design, and photography, as well as the more expected database design, SQL programming, scanning & color correcting, editing, indexing, writing (tech and otherwise), and suchlike.

She mentioned one current opening that appears to involve writing for a web site; creating descriptions of online board games.

This might not hurt as much as I thought.....
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